


Second chance

by mckvch (RaiseYourVoice)



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Bane Chronicles - Sarah Rees Brennan & Cassandra Clare & Maureen Johnson, The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Canon Compliant, First Kiss, Fix-It of Sorts, Light Angst, M/M, Post-Episode: s01e13 Morning Star, Second Chances
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-09
Updated: 2016-10-26
Packaged: 2018-08-20 08:13:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,668
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8242496
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RaiseYourVoice/pseuds/mckvch
Summary: Everything had happened so fast that night; freeing Camille had never been the plan and if he had known, he wouldn't have helped in the first place. But he didn't have a chance to prevent what happened because he had honestly been scared shitless to be faced with Camille - his abuser and killer - and he was pretty sure she did something. Maybe it had been Encanto, maybe the sire-bond but he knew she had manipulated him somehow, making it impossible for him to intervene. He had only realised his mistake when they were faced with the rest of the clan and when Raphael had voiced his disappointment. Simon was sure he would never not feel sick and awful at the memory alone..."I'm sorry. I...I never meant for this to happen," he finally murmured, unaware of the fact that he just used the exact same words Raphael had said when he brought the dead Simon back to the institute. God, the older vampire had saved him multiple times already and how did Simon repay him? By betraying him. He put everyone at risk by helping to free Camille and he was very much aware of it.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know...the lack of Raphael mentions at NYCC had me in the mood to write a little kind-of-fix-it story for the whole betrayal mess.

Simon swallowed nervously and had to keep himself from biting down on his bottom lip, his gaze jumping from Raphael to basically anything that wasn't the other vampire. He knew he was standing close to a chain-link fence and his back would be pressed against it after maybe one more step backwards. The other clan members had cornered him earlier and basically dragged him here but everyone seemed to have vanished into thin air as soon as Raphael had stepped out of the shadows - in any other situation, Simon might have made a teasing comment about this dramatic entrance.

"You betrayed us. You betrayed _me_ after I helped you and gave you a home when you had nowhere else to go." Raphael's voice was eerily calm but cold enough to sound almost painful to the fledgeling's ears. He had to admit that he was scared - not because he might be killed because Raphael would have done that already if it had been his intention but because he knew he had fucked up and he was scared to find out what that meant for his future with the clan. If there even was something like a future with the clan left for him after his betrayal.

"Raphael, I'm--I--I'm--" Simon didn't now what to say and he wanted to apologise so badly but the words got stuck in his throat, the knowledge of a simple "sorry" not being remotely enough clear in his mind.

"I heard you tried to use _Encanto_ ; How did that work out for you?" Raphael suddenly changed the subject but it didn't do anything to calm Simon's nerves. Quite the opposite, actually. Simon didn't even dare to ask how the clan leader knew about his very failed attempt at using Encanto on a few werewolves but he probably shouldn't be surprised about the other's knowledge of the incident.

"Uh, yeah. I didn't really know--"

"Of course you didn't. You would have learned about your abilities - and that _Encanto_ doesn't work as easily on other Downworlders as it does on mundanes - if you stayed around to learn all this. But you decided to choose the Nephilim over your own kind," Raphael interrupted him with a scowl, his dark eyes hard and unwavering. Simon winced and ducked his head in shame, a sharp pain of guilt crashing through him.

Everything had happened so fast that night; freeing Camille had never been the plan and if he had known, he wouldn't have helped in the first place. But he didn't have a chance to prevent what happened because he had honestly been scared shitless to be faced with Camille - his abuser and killer - and he was pretty sure she did something. Maybe it had been _Encanto_ , maybe the sire-bond but he knew she had manipulated him somehow, making it impossible for him to intervene. He had only realised his mistake when they were faced with the rest of the clan and when Raphael had voiced his disappointment. Simon was sure he would never not feel sick and awful at the memory alone...

"I'm sorry. I...I never meant for this to happen," he finally murmured, unaware of the fact that he just used the exact same words Raphael had said when he brought the dead Simon back to the institute. God, the older vampire had saved him multiple times already and how did Simon repay him? By betraying him. He put everyone at risk by helping to free Camille and he was very much aware of it.

"If you want to kill me, go ahead. I deserve it," Simon added after a few seconds of silence and squeezed his eyes shut. He opened his eyes again, though, when he heard Raphael exhale a sigh. Ever since he got turned and during his short time in the hotel he had never once caught the other breathe or do anything else that wasn't required for their undead states. Simon blinked and looked up in confusion. If he still needed to breathe, the breath would have probably be knocked out of him at the sight: Raphael didn't look angry or gruff anymore but like a young man in his early twenties who was just tired and hurt. It was painful for Simon to realise this was his doing, that he was the cause of the other's distress.

"I don't want to kill you, fledgeling, and I'm not going to," Raphael finally replied, his shoulders slumping the tiniest bit and the authoritative aura of the clan leader seemed to vanish in a matter of seconds. His dark eyes focused on Simon's face, seemingly searching for something, and when he found it Raphael stepped closer, causing the younger vampire to take the last step back and bump into the fence. He didn't really notice the sound of the rattling chain-links, though, with all of his senses focused on nothing but the man crowding into his personal space like he had never done anything else. Suddenly, Raphael's hand came to rest on Simon's chest, palm pressed against the thin material of his shirt and determined eyes fixed on his.

"I get _why_ you did this and I know it wasn't as voluntary as it might have seemed. That doesn't change the fact that you fucked up and you still have to make amends - especially to win the clan's trust back - but I am willing to give you a second chance if you promise to never cross me again," Raphael said in a low, almost threateningly sharp voice and Simon was very glad he didn't need to breathe because he definitely forgot how to do that right now, "and if anything like this happens again, _then_ I'm going to kill you."

Simon shuddered at the sincerity of this threat and there was absolutely no doubt in his mind that Raphael would go through with it but no way in hell would he ever dare to betray the other a second time.

"Does...does this mean I can...come back to the hotel?" He asked tentatively, sounding more hopeful than intended, and he could swear the corner of Raphael's mouth twitched the slightest bit.

"No. Not yet, at least. You have to earn the right to come back home," the clan leader replied, his fingertips digging into Simon's chest and before the young vampire was able to fathom what was about to happen, he suddenly felt the press of cool, incredibly soft lips against his own. It ended as quickly as it started and he was left with an "I'm sure you will figure something out, baby" when his eyes fluttered open again - when did he even close them? He was standing there with nothing but a tingly feeling in his lips and new hope slowly blooming in his chest, his lips curling into the faintest of smiles as he stared at the spot where Raphael had been just a few seconds ago.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "What do you mean _this isn't right_? We know where Camille is and we're going after her, how is that not right? We're _making it right_!" She replied with a confused expression and this wasn't the first time Simon ended up noticing how their mindsets drifted apart as well. Of course, they had always seen some things differently but they still always got what the other thought. Now, though, it seemed like Clary didn't see his perspective anymore and how could she? She had angel blood running through her veins while his was now tainted by that of a demon.
> 
> "This isn't _making it right_. We released Camille but killing her doesn't just make it go away. It's not our place to kill her because it's vampire business," Simon replied with a sigh and tried to ignore the mildly annoyed glares the Lightwood siblings sent their way for the hold-up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know if this is the kind of sequel everyone hoped for but I didn't feel like getting overly dramatic. And the only ideas I got were something along the lines of Simon being stupid and going after Camille by himself or him somehow saving Raphael's life to somehow gain back at least a tiny bit of trust.  
> But, no drama this time. Just Simon giving Clary a piece of his mind (finally) and making the right decision this time :)

"Clary, this isn't right!"

The redhead turned around with a frown, hand resting on the hilt of the seraph blade fastened to her belt. During the past days and weeks, Simon had honestly started to wonder if she was still the same girl he had grown up with because every step towards her new self as a Shadowhunter felt like a step further away from him. He didn't know why it had taken him to betray his clan for Clary to slowly start realising that Raphael had been right - he and Clary weren't on the same level anymore, no matter how much they wanted to deny drifting apart.

"What do you mean _this isn't right_? We know where Camille is and we're going after her, how is that not right? We're _making it right_!" She replied with a confused expression and this wasn't the first time Simon ended up noticing how their mindsets drifted apart as well. Of course, they had always seen some things differently but they still always got what the other thought. Now, though, it seemed like Clary didn't see his perspective anymore and how could she? She had angel blood running through her veins while his was now tainted by that of a demon.

"This isn't _making it right_. We released Camille but killing her doesn't just make it go away. It's not our place to kill her because it's vampire business," Simon replied with a sigh and tried to ignore the mildly annoyed glares the Lightwood siblings sent their way for the hold-up.

"But you _are_ a vampire."

"Come on, Clary. You know that's not what I meant. We can't just go and kill Camille; that's not our call to make. Raphael and the clan have to decide her fate." Camille had been imprisoned for a reason. Raphael hadn't killed her but locked her up to prosecute her properly; Camille was supposed to be brought in front of the Clave. And Simon knew he had fucked it up by signing this contract. He didn't want to make even more mistakes by assigning the right to judge over Camille to himself or, which was probably worse, to the Shadowhunters.

"We kill her, she can't harm anyone anymore. How is that not in favour of Raphael and his precious clan? Why do you even care, he abandoned you," Clary said with a sigh of her own and nodded towards the others in a silent "let's get going". There was so much Simon could have replied but he had tried to explain the wrongness of their, his, actions to her before and it ended in a useless fight that had solved nothing. Clary didn't see the fault in saving her mother and Simon was honestly tired of trying to communicate that there should have been another way instead of taking the easy and certainly wrong one. He was the one who had to live with the negative consequences of their actions, not Clary, but for some reason, she couldn't see that.

Simon pressed his lips together into a thin line before nodding curtly and finally moving again to follow the three Shadowhunters. It was weird; before it had always been _he and Clary_ but now he felt like the _and_ was fading and it was more like him following _the others_. He felt a weird disconnect and out of place but the only person he could talk to about this at the moment was Magnus because the warlock was just that; a warlock, a Downworlder, on a different level than the Shadowhunters - no matter his affiliation with Alec.

* * *

Camille looked sickeningly triumphant when Izzy had her pinned against the brick wall, seraph blade a shy away from the pale skin of her neck, and Simon interfered. He wrapped his fingers around Isabelle's wrist with a "Don't" that sounded too breathy for a being that had no need to breathe in the first place.

"What's up with you? She ordered to kidnap you, killed and turned you," Izzy replied with the same confusion Clary had shown earlier and Simon felt his shoulders sag ever so slightly. Why couldn't they understand?

"She did and, believe me, nobody wishes her dead more than I do but we can't--"

"Listen to the fledgeling, Nephilim. This is not your fight to end and not your judgement to pass," Raphael's voice interrupted Simon and the young vampire involuntarily perked up at the sound of the clan leader's voice. He suppressed the smile that threatened to tug at the corners of his mouth and forced his face into a neutral expression.

"Raphael...what are you doing here?", Clary demanded, fingers tightening their grip on the hilt of her seraph blade and Simon couldn't help but narrow his eyes at the fact. Raphael actually snorted and casually strode up to the small group, closely followed by Lily and Stan.

"We're here to make sure you Nephilim don't overstep your jurisdiction _once again_. Camille was our prisoner and the Night Children are to punish her," Raphael explained with a calm but icy voice, glaring at the redheaded Shadowhunter before his gaze swept to Simon.

" _Bien hecho! "_

Simon only knew what _bien_ meant but he assumed it was actually some kind of praise for once and not Raphael calling him an idiot or other insults. Izzy, still pinning a now sneering Camille to the wall, narrowed her eyes at Simon.

"You called him." It wasn't a question.

"No, I texted him," Simon corrected with a shrug and after Clary hadn't even tried to listen to him, he had texted Raphael what the Shadowhunters planned and also told him the whereabouts of Camille. He didn't plan to go behind the clan's back again even if that meant kind of going behind his friend's back in turn but he knew, this time, it wasn't something he would regret.

"Simon, why would you??" Clary stared at him wide eyed and in disbelief but Simon was surprised that he didn't feel any guilt about his actions this time. It had been the right thing.

"You don't get to be disappointed in me over this, Clary," he said and felt everyone's surprised gazes rest on him, " _this_ is the right thing to do. Freeing Camille had been wrong and I explained to you why over and over again but you wouldn't listen; you just wouldn't understand. So I had to inform Raphael this time because I don't want to get dragged down by your weird sense of righteousness again. You said nothing could ever drive us apart but you don't even try to see my point of view - I'm not _mundane Simon_ anymore and every time I act against Downworlders, I act against my own kind. We are not the same kind anymore, Clary."

Clary's eyes widened even more and Simon almost felt bad for the harsh words. _Almost._ But it was the truth and he finally saw that.

Raphael had already silently ordered Stan and Lily to take over for Isabelle and make sure Camille wouldn't use the distraction to break free and flee the scene. Izzy glared at the vampires but gave in begrudgingly, handing Camille over to her former clan members.

"Simon, why would you--how could you--" Clary stuttered, still too stunned by her best friend's actions, but it was Raphael once again who interrupted, his velvety voice sounding beyond bored.

"Your job here is done, Nephilim. Get out of here," he dismissed the Shadowhunters and didn't even flinch at the glares he received in return. The Shadowhunters didn't seem inclined to argue, though, and honestly retreated without further resistance. Simon was about to follow but Raphael stepping in front of him stopped him.

"You went against your precious Nephilim, against _Clary_ ," Raphael said with surprise in his smooth voice and Simon shrugged, self-consciously. It had been the right thing to do.

"Come on, let's get Camille back into the surely dearly missed confined space of her coffin," he added with a smirk directed at the former leader who hissed at him but the fight against the Shadowhunters had her weakened and bleeding so Lily and Stan could keep her in check without any trouble. Simon's eyes widened and Raphael's words and he was about to ask if the prompt was directed at him as well but he got his answer when he locked eyes with the older vampire.

"You're not off the hook, _idiota_ , but it seems like you are actually learnt something and you do deserve a reward. If you ever dare to cross me and the clan again, though, the kill order won't be only for show."

Simon swallowed and nodded but when he followed the other vampires back to the hotel, a smile tugged at the corners of his mouth and it felt like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. Of course, he hadn't regained Raphael's trust by this one action but it was a start and he was determined to keep on proving his loyalties and regain his position in the clan one day.


End file.
